I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
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