i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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