Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
