He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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