It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
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is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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