90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
