I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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