Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don't deserve a penis
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
