plz talk dirty to me
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
