I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
