Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
