I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
