dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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