This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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