Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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