I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
