I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
