I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize