She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Randomize
