i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
