You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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