i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
