Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
