Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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