I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
