next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
