belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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