Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
