my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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