I bet he comes in French.
Small penises have feelings too.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
