someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
