i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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