the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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