are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
