i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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