Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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