You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
