Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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