brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
