did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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