actually, I'm a sock model
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
