i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
