Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
