Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
