Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
