I'm so fucking centered right now
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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