If that was your dad, he is hot
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
