my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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