She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
