After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
