Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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