yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
