After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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