Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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