Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
