I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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