omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
