It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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