her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
