I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
