One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize