when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
