we have officially mastered the walk of shame
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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