I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
