i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
