I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Randomize
